About Your Beliefs

Thoughts: Many trainings do a section on Beliefs.  As with our section on Values this is nothing new. We have presented whole seminars on Values and Beliefs. We believe working on changing Belief systems is very valuable and although it is not as easy as changing Values, it is paramount in making long-term shifts. Most peoples' beliefs are completely unconscious, unless they have previously done some beliefs work.

Beliefs are scripts, or programs, set up in your nuero-nets usually during childhood, and designed to protect, avoid pain or gain pleasure. One of the huge problems is that they usually don't serve an adult, rather, they run on automatic and until a person becomes aware enough to write new scripts, they typically become stimulus/response, wreaking havoc in a person's life.

Let's provide an example: Marsha and her husband are experiencing problems in their marriage. Marsha does not feel loved, and neither does her husband George. Their completely different beliefs systems are destroying their marriage and will break it apart of they do not become aware and make some appropriate changes. This is what happens in many marriages.

As a child, Marsha was usually neglected. The few times she got attention from her parents, the few times they took the time to stop and be with her, were the only times she felt loved. She developed a program, a belief, that the only way a person really loves her is if they spend time with her or doing things for her - gifts of time. George works long hours and is unable to give her as much time as she would like, which she believes means he does not love her.

George, on the other hand, was physically abused. He never had any loving touch from either parent. His experience of love is mostly physical. Only when Marsha is intimate with him does he feel loved. This is mostly sexual, but not only sexual. Holding and cuddling are important to him too. Because Marsha feels unloved by George most of the time, she does not feel like being intimate. This becomes a stand off, and until they do some serious work on themselves, they can never hope to keep the love in this marriage alive.

Another example: Tina's father was verbally abusive to her, belittling her every chance he had. She could tell when he was getting ready to go off on her because his face would become very stern. That sternness in his face became emblazoned upon her soul and into her neuro-nets.  As a child, it was a protection mechanism that served her well. When he looked stern, she could high tail it out of his way. As an adult, this belief about the look on people's faces is destroying her relationships. When her boss is concentrating at work, his face becomes stern. She gets insecure and reactive, lashing out in defense, when she is probably the last thing on his mind. A friend was suffering over the death of her aunt, and went inside to grieve, withdrawing from those around her. Tina interpreted her sad face for a stern one, and verbally attacked her friend, causing a riff between them that took months to get straightened out.

Tina has become an excellent mind-reader, constantly looking around for people to support her beliefs systems with any type of facial expression she can interpret as judgmental and confrontive. The good news is that she is now aware of this issue and is working on it.

These are typical examples of how our childhood beliefs can get in the way of happiness as an adult. Most unconscious people believe that everyone believes the same way they do. We are all very different. Our beliefs are our own, nobody else's. We can also choose our beliefs and decide to adopt beliefs that serve us, letting go of old disempowering beliefs that served us well as children but not as adults.

About Your Beliefs

The Process - Beliefs

Worksheets


"I never knew how my beliefs were sabotaging my life as an adult until the workshop I did with Cardell and Linn. I have reworked them several times and I really appreciate them teaching me how to adjust them to create a more balanced life."

Mark W. - Life Guard - LA

 

"I actually attended one of Cardell and Linn's Values and Beliefs workshops in Florida a few years ago, so when I came to the retreat I was prepared for this process. What I loved about it though, is writing a New Story about it. Very powerful." Michelle T. - Nurse - Atlanta, GA

 

 

We do an afternoon of work on beliefs at our retreats, no more. It starts with awareness of the old disempowering beliefs, and shifting them into empowering beliefs, using bridge statements and what we call the Belief Buster. We developed the Belief Buster a long time ago for our workshops on Beliefs, and have streamlined it for the retreats. It is presented here as we do in the retreats.


What Are Your Beliefs?

What are Beliefs? They…
• Are the results of your thoughts and are your truths  

• Are your rules for what works or doesn’t work
• Are your expectations of people, events and life 

• Are the meaning you make of life and life’s experiences
• Become your reality because the Quantum Field is a mirror
 

The problem is that most people believe their beliefs are everyone's. They are not. They are yours alone. Everyone is different and has their own set of beliefs about life. Until you become aware, most of the beliefs you hold are disempowering and will keep you stuck in negative life patterns.

We would like to introduce you to The Belief Buster.

This was developed many years ago, and we have trimmed it to a very basic design for our retreats.

When used for discovering our old, disempowering beliefs, we call it the Belief Buster.

When used to change beliefs into new and empowering beliefs, it is called the Belief Booster.

 

 

Using this formula will help to become aware of what beliefs are not serving you as an adult and help you to

reframe them into positive beliefs which will empower your life.  The first step is to become aware of your old scripts.


Worksheets - Print and Fill in

Step 1

Mark three in each section that you identify with the most
Select ONLY your top 3 from each section

 

Patterns of My Old Story

o Seeking approval

o Caretaking

o Needing to be in control

o Repressed

o Fearing authority figures

o Having frozen feeling

o Feeling isolated

o Feeling low self esteem

o Out of control

o Feeling not good enough

 

Automatic behavioral responses:

o People pleasing

o Fearing criticism

o Fearing failure

o Weight issues

o Money issues

o Ignoring own needs

o Indecisiveness

o Trust issues

o Worry excessively

o Perfectionism

o Relationship issues

o Physical illness

o Control issues

o Feeling disconnected

o Judging others

o Rescuing people

o Manipulating others

o Spiritual confusion

 

This results in feelings of:

o Resentment

o Fear of the unknown

o Anxiety

o Depression

o Sadness

o Insecurity

o Anger

o Rejection

o Guilt - Shame

o Frustration

o Fear - Resistance

o Separate - Alone

Pick your top one from each section and write it here
________________________________________
________________________________________
________________________________________


Choose one of your top issues and write it here
The Personality Program I am working on today is

_____________________________________

Keep in mind that you are learning a process. We want you to practice with one issue,

 then try others after you have learned this process.

 


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 Step 2 – Awareness of the Old Story

Apply the following formula for awareness of how your own disempowering beliefs are holding you back
 

When (insert personality program here) then (what you do in life because of this program)

The results in my life are (fill in the negative results you experience in life from this disempowering program or belief)
 

Keep it short – One or two sentences
 

When _____________________________________________________________________________

Then _____________________________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________________________

The results in my life are ______________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________________________
 

Here are some examples of how to do this part of the exercise.

 


When I am a perfectionist, then I drive myself crazy because I take so much time trying to get it right that I get half as much accomplished as I would like.

The results in my life are that I don’t get ahead and I never feel good enough. (Old Story)


When I worry excessively, then I have an anxious feeling all the time that something bad is going to happen.

The results in my life are that I attract mishaps and accidents constantly, feel stressed out all of the time and never enjoy my life. (This is the Old Story)


When I don’t have enough money to pay my bills and buy what I want, then I become anxious and am mean to my wife and kids, and can’t sleep at night.

The results in my life are I just seem to focus so much on lack that money never comes to me and if it does it seems to disappear really fast. Also, my wife and I are constantly

arguing about it and my kids are afraid to talk to me. (Old Story)


When I realize I don’t have a love relationship, then I begin to think I will always be alone and never have the love of my life.

The results in my life are that I am sad much of the time and no one wants to be with someone who is sad or needy. (Old Story)


When I see how overweight I am, then I feel terrible about myself and think other people find me repulsive.

The results in my life are that I often overeat out of frustration and this just makes me even heavier and causes me to feel even worse about myself. I often push people away not because of what they are thinking, but because of what I am thinking myself. (Old Story)

 


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Step 3 – Shift Language to Create New Empowering Beliefs

Shift the language using bridge statements and the same formula into a positive

 

Use the Bridge Statements – Create a New Story

Fill in the old pattern again after 'when,' but switch the 'then'

and 'results' to empowering, using the bridge statements.

When _____________________________________________________________________________

Then _____________________________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________________________

The results in my life are ______________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________________________

Here are some examples of how to do this part of the exercise.

 


When I worry excessively, then I take a deep breath and focus on appreciating what is around me. I am in the process of relaxing more and I love the idea of not having to worry so much about everything.

The results in my life are that I am relaxed most of the time and am healthier. I am also in the process of having much less stress, which means I feel better all the time. (New Belief - New Story)


When I don’t have enough money to pay my bills and buy what I want, then I know I am in the process of attracting wealth and it gives me a feeling of relief.

The results in my life are more and more, I don’t stress so much about money, and it seems to be coming in little by little. I also don’t expect it all at once and know that it is a process and my money issues are getting better. (New Belief - New Story)


When I realize I don’t have a love relationship, then I do my meditation and connect with my Inner Being, who is so loveable that my perfect relationship will see it too when I meet them.

The results in my life are that I put out a vibration that is irresistible and I feel so good, I know the love of my life will be attracted to that vibration. (New Belief - New Story)


When I think I am overweight, then I know that I am in the process of learning to love myself exactly as I am and not worry about how I look or what I eat.

The results in my life are that I feel better about myself and am eating less and having more fun. Everyone keeps asking me what my secret is, and I just say, I am learning to love myself more and more. The weight just drops away. (New Belief - New Story)


Can you REALLY change your beliefs this easily? You bet you can! Write the new belief, using the bridge statements and focus on it every day and your life will change. It is universal law!!

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